Pivoting careers can be unbalancing (at least it was for me). I went from leader of 300 people to baby noob on a team of Executive Coaches. The first project I got pulled into was designing an important offsite. In the meetings, I was lucky if I understood 30% of what was being said.
After a month, things didn't improve. I started getting super mad at myself and others. Why couldn't I understand? Why couldn't they slow down? What the hell is orange language!?!?!
My frustration churned for 2 months before it hit me. 'Willpowering' myself through meetings was leading nowhere. I was ignoring what my emotions were telling me. Hurriedly drawn on a scrap of paper, my coach introduced the biggest AHA moment of my emotional life - Jumping the chasm doesn't work.
Image from Deborah Kennedy. Inspired from Otto Scharmer's Theory-U.
When an unpleasant emotion appears, people often react by either ignoring or repressing. I am going to pretend I'm not fucking pissed and just get through this meeting.
What is the healthy response? Sit with your emotion.
Ya heard me... take a deep breath and get curious about what you're feeling. 90 seconds can teach you a lot.
Eventually, you'll be able to name it and potentially be informed by it. Holy shit, I'm not angry, I'm actually scared that I'm wasting my time and slowing down the team.
You'll know you're hitting the center when your emotion starts to dissipate. For me, this feels like I run out of steam.
It's after you hit center that you can start thinking creatively about what to do next. Ok, I'm not actually mad. I'm just feel like I'm not helping. I need to tell my colleagues that I have no idea what they are talking about. I'll suggest not attending these meetings since it's not adding value to myself or others.
This cycle does get easier. After a few rounds, you get a better idea of your emotional patterns. The chasms get shorter and shorter.
Next time you feel a strong emotion, stay with it and ask yourself: What information can I gather (feelings, inner dialogue, body sensations)?