Bruno Roldan, VP of Marketing @ Shopify, shared something yesterday and it sat with me all day. 

"[This is a] passage from a poem my father used to read to me as a kid [by Antonio Machado]."

Traveler, your footprints are the path, and nothing else.
Traveler, there is no path. A path is made by walking.
A path is made by walking,
and in looking back one sees
the trodden road that never
will be set foot on again.

"A little bit meta, but this is my takeaway; We are all afraid of missing out, worried we aren’t aligned, worried the path isn’t set. But this poem reminds me that every step we take makes the path. The exact path to success is unknown. Seeking perfect alignment, while noble, is but a traveler's dream.

Here’s a link to the full poem. A little bit butchered from its translation from Spanish but pretty good none the less."

Photo credit: Christian Mackie - following his own path @ mountains.mackiec.ca

I got a lot of comments from my last post on Emotional U-turns. I'm surprised and happy that people are curious. Here's a bit more of what I've picked up.

Over the last 3 years, I've started seeing my knee-jerk reactions and defence mechanisms against emotions run out of steam. Raised in a conservative Vietnamese home, anger helped me rebel against the norms I didn't agree with. I'll wear god damn spaghetti straps if I want! Ain't nobody gonna to tell me what to do!

On several occasions that rebellious attitude has bitten me in the ass. Especially when it comes to team work. Hmmmm... I'm not sure if that perspective works here. I'm going to respect the original decision (translation - Ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do!).

My coach recommended I read 'The Language of Emotions' by Karla McLaren. I'm 50 pages in and my mind is blown. Here's a bit of what I've gathered so far about how my emotions drive me.

ANGER

Anger, in it's basic function, signifies a boundary has been crossed. Did that guy fucking cut in front of me!? Wait, why am I mad? Am I really that attached to the notion that people should wait in orderly lines? Where did I learn that? 

HAPPINESS

This perspective surprised me. "Happiness is a momentary emotion that helps you identify things that are fun and rewarding. It's a good little rest stop in your soul..." 

SADNESS

I hate feeling sad - it makes me feel weak and vulnerable. But what if sadness simply tells you that something you're holding onto needs to be let go? 

FEAR

Fear is simply your instincts on high alert. When you need it, fear hyper focuses your senses, "scans your environment and your stored memories, and it increases your ability to respond effectively to new or changing situations".

Each emotion is telling you something, informing you. In concert these emotions are powerful indicators of what drives you in everyday life. Being aware of the message is probably more powerful than any language can convey.

Pivoting careers can be unbalancing (at least it was for me). I went from leader of 300 people to baby noob on a team of Executive Coaches. The first project I got pulled into was designing an important offsite. In the meetings, I was lucky if I understood 30% of what was being said.

After a month, things didn't improve. I started getting super mad at myself and others. Why couldn't I understand? Why couldn't they slow down? What the hell is orange language!?!?! 

My frustration churned for 2 months before it hit me. 'Willpowering' myself through meetings was leading nowhere. I was ignoring what my emotions were telling me. Hurriedly drawn on a scrap of paper, my coach introduced the biggest AHA moment of my emotional life - Jumping the chasm doesn't work.

Image from Deborah Kennedy. Inspired from Otto Scharmer's Theory-U.

When an unpleasant emotion appears, people often react by either ignoring or repressing. I am going to pretend I'm not fucking pissed and just get through this meeting.

What is the healthy response? Sit with your emotion.

Ya heard me... take a deep breath and get curious about what you're feeling. 90 seconds can teach you a lot.

Eventually, you'll be able to name it and potentially be informed by it. Holy shit, I'm not angry, I'm actually scared that I'm wasting my time and slowing down the team.

You'll know you're hitting the center when your emotion starts to dissipate. For me, this feels like I run out of steam.

It's after you hit center that you can start thinking creatively about what to do next. Ok, I'm not actually mad. I'm just feel like I'm not helping. I need to tell my colleagues that I have no idea what they are talking about. I'll suggest not attending these meetings since it's not adding value to myself or others.

This cycle does get easier. After a few rounds, you get a better idea of your emotional patterns. The chasms get shorter and shorter.

Next time you feel a strong emotion, stay with it and ask yourself: What information can I gather (feelings, inner dialogue, body sensations)?

Today's musing: Redoing your work.

My biggest fear with writing is that I publish something and afterwards realize I could've done better. Two hours after I last post, a colleague came up to me and gently said: I read your post! Ummm... found some grammatical errors and there's a random sentence that is incomplete.

My heart dropped. What a lost of a good idea! Then, I heard Julia Cameron's voice whisper in my head.

"Artistic losses can be turned into artistic gains and strengths - but not in the isolation of the beleaguered artist's brain" (Chapter 8, Artist's Way).

I'm putting this lesson into practice. I'm re-blogging last week's post into what I would've done in hindsight. I'm a bit relieved that this fear isn't as bad as I made it out to be. I'm leaving my first attempt online as a reminder to myself that second chances are always possible. Let's do this again, shall we?

Today's musing - Can spoiling yourself be the key to building a lasting morning routine?

I spent most of my life hitting the snooze button. Good mornings were the ones where I rolled out of bed at 11am. I just LOVE to sleep but hated the guilty feelings that would bubble up. I mean, how could you not with articles like 'Daily Habits of Exceptionally Successful People' (hint: there's always theme about rising early). After a decade of trying, what method has genuinely stuck with me for the last 6 months?  

What are Morning Pages?

Write 3 pages, long hand, of your stream of consciousness first thing in the morning.

That's it. No computer. No censoring. No re-reading what you've written. It's the foundation practice for The Artist's Way. I started this 6 months ago and continue to this day. 

What's the secret?

It really boiled down to spoiling myself for this 'special' occasion.

I used this beautiful, leather journal that had been sitting on my shelf for 3 years. I got an old fountain pen that was in the family for 100 years. Every morning, I'd pull on my cosiest socks, stumble downstairs and light my favorite lavender candle. 

I was pragmatic enough to set mini milestones. I woke up 15 mins early and wrote like a mad woman. After 2 weeks, I pushed it another 15 mins and so forth.

Over the months, I added other luxuries to my routine. I set our speakers to wake me up with tranquil, Tibetan chants. I bought fresh flowers for my table every week. I forced myself to get into bed at 9pm - no expectation to sleep right away but being in bed was enough to start the habit.

These days, I wake up at 6am alert and ready to go. I spend 30 mins on my Morning Pages with the house still blissfully asleep. If there's time, I sneak in a quick 10 mins of meditation with Headspace.

This morning routine has been transformative in ways I can't eloquently explain. Things like feeling patient, grounded and taken care of even before I left the house. My stress levels stayed low despite the terrifying abyss of burn out I was approaching. I really think there is power to using your morning creatively. Give it a try one week.

What would spoiling yourself in the morning look like?